


Capable

by sapphire_child



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-10-20
Updated: 2005-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-31 21:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12141633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire_child/pseuds/sapphire_child
Summary: Because everyone else has written a fic about Claire discovering the heroin inside the Virgin Mary...





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because everyone else has written a fic about Claire discovering the heroin inside the Virgin Mary...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Yes I am the writer, director and producer of Lost however I am writing Charlie/Claire fanfiction to get over my writers block for the actual show and thusly none of this will ever air *sniggers* psh, yeah. I own nothing to do with Lost except for my posters and my DVD’s *runs off to snuggle them*

 

She came upon him chopping wood just within the tree line, grunting and swearing under his breath as he worked, pausing occasionally to brush a trickle of sweat aside.

‘Charlie?’

He turned to her and managed a weary smile.

‘Hey, where’s Turnip – I mean Aaron?’

‘He’s with…oh that doesn’t matter Charlie, I – ’ now that she was here, a shard of ceramic clutched in her hand, she didn’t really know how to begin so she mutely held it out to him.

Charlie took it curiously and looked at it for a moment before realisation dawned on his face and he looked up.

‘She smashed?’

‘Yes,’

Charlie’s eyes darted away from Claire’s to the sliver of Mary in his hand.

‘I was trying to find something and then next thing I knew she fell and smashed.’

‘Oh,’ Charlie worried the broken ceramic piece, turning it over and over in his fingers, still not looking at Claire.

‘Charlie,’ Claire’s voice faltered. ‘Why didn’t you tell me there were drugs inside?’

Charlie looked up slowly. A tension grew between the two of them as he searched her eyes, wondering if she would accept his imminent lie. Claire shifted uneasily, praying that he wouldn’t even try...

‘There were drugs in her?’

Claire snapped.

‘Oh don’t play dumb Charlie! I talked to Sayid and he said he _told_ you that there was heroin in there.’

Charlie’s entire demeanour changed immediately at this. ‘I didn’t take it for the heroin Claire,’ he insisted, taking an earnest step forward and reaching out to touch her. ‘I _told_ you I used to be...’

‘Yeah you used to be a religious guy,’ Claire snorted, pushing his hand away. ‘And you also used to be a drug addict.’

‘Ah,’ Charlie tossed the fragment aside with a sour look. ‘Yes. I see you’ve recalled that lovely conversation we had in the jungle before Ethan kidnapped us.’ Charlie picked the axe up and turned his back on her to start chopping wood again.

‘Don’t you turn away from me Charlie,’ Claire said dangerously. ‘Don’t you dare. Not when we’re talking about this.’

‘Well now you know what a bloody awful person I am, why are you even here?’ Charlie called over his shoulder. ‘Why aren’t you off hating me like I know you want to?’

‘I don’t hate you,’ Charlie actually guffawed at this and Claire pressed on, angry with him for not taking her seriously. ‘I just wish that you had _told_ me instead of keeping it a secret like this.’

‘And why would I have done that?’ Charlie said sardonically. ‘Gee Claire, why would I completely arse up the best friendship I’ve ever had by telling them that I’m an ex-Heroin junkie and that therefore they probably shouldn’t trust me because there’s no telling what I might be capable of when faced with a decision between them or my drugs.’

‘You killed a man right in front of me,’ Claire said coldly. ‘I’m well aware of what you’re capable of Charlie.’

And finally he turns to her. His face is slick with sweat and his eyes are dark, the axe hanging loosely in his hand only adding to his menacing appearance as he takes a slow, deliberate step towards her. When he speaks his voice is barely above a whisper but his words have as much effect as if he had screamed them at the top of his lungs.

‘You have no idea what I’m capable of.’

Dead silence.

Claire stares at Charlie’s face, it’s so contorted that she barely recognises him.

And that scares her far more than when she realised he was an addict.

She turns abruptly and begins to head into the jungle.

‘Where are you going?’ Charlie calls out exasperatedly.

‘I don’t care,’ she doesn’t even bother to raise her voice as she walks away from him, the tears starting to spill down her cheeks. ‘Just as far away from you as I can get.’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire returns to the beach and Aaron only to find that an unwelcome guest has decided to look after him in her absence…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Claimer: Lost is mine. All mine. Muahahaha!  
> Disclaimer: Yeah you all know the deal. Not mine, somebody much richer than I owns all of this *sad*

 

It hadn’t taken long for Claire to find her way back to the beach; Locke had guided her until she could find her own way and then melted back into the jungle.

‘I don’t want to talk to Charlie,’ she had repeated hotly throughout her furious trekking through the jungle and Locke had sighed and nodded over and over. ‘I’m only going back because I need to find Aaron – I can’t believe I left him for so long…I’ll be fine from here I know where I am.’

‘Sure,’ Locke nodded tiredly and waved her off. ‘Good luck Claire.’

Claire had been willing earlier to perhaps make peace with Charlie – after a long while and a lot of explaining on his part of course – but as she emerged from the jungle all thoughts of conciliation flew from her mind.

There was Charlie – and as if the sight of him wasn’t bad enough – he was holding her son in his arms, comforting him, and looking every bit as proud and protective as if he was in fact the real father instead of an accidental surrogate.

How dare he look so fatherly? How dare he even _touch_ her son after what he had just divulged to her?

‘How _dare_ you!’ Claire screamed as she got closer and cuffed him rather heavily around the back of the head causing him to buckle. Charlie whipped around, saw Claire and a pleading look swept across his face.

‘Claire! They couldn’t get him to stop crying!’ he protested as she snatched her son from him and began to march away. Aaron began to yowl again as she walked, protesting at being taken from the warm safety of Charlie’s arms. ‘He knows me better than anyone else – you weren’t – I was the only one who could – I didn’t mean to – Claire!’

She felt his hand on her shoulder and she turned wildly, swinging at him with her free hand, which made a satisfying noise when it hit a glancing blow off his jaw.

Charlie stumbled backwards a step, one hand going to his jaw.

Aaron was still crying as Claire drew herself up to her full five feet of height and glared at Charlie.

‘I was just taking care of him,’ he said, darkly miserable. ‘Since you were off having a hissy fit in the jungle.’

‘Oh yes, you like taking care of people don’t you Charlie?’ Claire laughed hollowly and Charlie stared at her silently. ‘You can’t even take care of yourself!’

‘Oh can’t I?’ he looked angry again now but Claire was angry too and the sound of her son wailing in her arms wasn’t doing anything to improve her temper which had already had its fuse suitable shortened today.

‘No, you can’t!’ Claire held Aaron tightly against her shoulder. ‘Why else would Jack have to keep saving you all the time? You like taking care of people because you’ve never been able to do it for yourself. You want to feel needed – and frankly I think it’s pathetic.’

Charlie didn’t answer but his face was smouldering and Claire knew that she’d struck a chord somewhere in there.

‘And where would you be without my taking care of people, hmmn?’ he whispered dangerously.

‘Well I’d probably still have my memory for one!’ Claire retorted angrily. ‘If you hadn’t convinced me to move to the caves…’

‘Who’s to say Ethan wouldn’t have gotten to you at the beach as well?’ Charlie argued.

Claire tried to find something to argue back and found she had nothing. ‘This isn’t about Ethan!’ Claire spluttered. ‘This is about you being an addict!’

‘Yes! The operative word here being “was”,’ Charlie retorted angrily. ‘As in “I _was_ a Heroin addict” as in past tense! As in not anymore!’

‘Do you really expect me to believe that?’ Claire said, angrily incredulous. ‘Why should I even _listen_ to you after what you did?’

Charlie sighed heavily and Claire took this opportunity to stalk back to her shelter. She put Aaron in his cradle and then began to gather the shards of ceramic and the small plastic bags of heroin that still lay on the floor.

She heard Charlie open the tent flap behind her but just as he came in she turned around and dumped the load of ceramic and baggies in his hands.

‘Get out. I never want to see you anywhere near my son again.’

Charlie stared wordlessly at the broken statuette in his hands.

‘Claire – ’

Claire pushed him out of her shelter, not even caring if he fell over.

‘GET OUT!’

‘I haven’t even taken any!’ Charlie pleaded desperately. ‘Please…Claire…you’ve got to believe me…’

‘I trusted you!’ and now she was bawling and God she hadn’t realised that so many people had come over to see what the fuss was about. ‘I trusted you Charlie and you _lied_ to me!’

Charlie stared helplessly at her as she pushed him once more for good measure and ran back into her shelter. He knew it would be no good going in after her, especially not with his hands full of heroin. His eyes dropped to it and he gradually became aware of the curious stares he was earning. He stared around at them all wondering if their lives were really that boring but then someone went to whisper to another behind their hand and he completely lost it.

‘What the fuck are you all looking at?’ He practically shrieked, he winced at the sound but it was certainly effective; several people jumped and continued on their way, glancing back at him and glaring self-righteously. Charlie glared back just as fiercely and slowly one by one, they disappeared.

‘You ought to be ashamed of yourself,’ a man growled from behind him and Charlie whipped around. ‘Having drugs like that anywhere near a baby!’

‘I didn’t take any!’ Charlie threw the contents of his hands down at the mans feet. He’d never even talked to this man before! ‘And how dare you pass judgement on me! You don’t even know me!’ he turned to stalk away but the mans voice followed him.

‘She knows you and she doesn’t trust you so why should I?’

And those simple words more than anything else that has been said or done today is what makes the tears start.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Charlie is blamed for stealing someone’s watch, someone unexpected comes to his defence…

 

It had been over a month since the incident with the heroin and they still hadn’t spoken or even acknowledged the other still existed.

But everyone had noticed that they were both looking decidedly miserable, and they looked more and more miserable every day.

And they also noticed that both of them denied it.

Claire garnered the attention of most of the inhabitants of the beach, many of whom came to offer their condolences. One in particular who began to make regular visits was a younger man called William who seemed to have been waiting for Claire and Charlie to figuratively “break up” before making a move on Claire.

While he was sweet and smiled at her a lot, he was far too old for her and on top of that Claire found him intolerably boring and couldn’t understand why if he had liked her before he had ignored her for so long before making his move? Surely he had seen her after they first crashed sitting alone all the time? Charlie had had no troubles with breaking the ice and becoming friends with her...

She threw herself into looking after her son, devoting all her time and energy to him, all the easier to forget Charlie who hadn’t been so lucky with sympathy. Once word had gotten round about his addiction it seemed that nobody wanted anything to do with him and he spent most of his days mooching about near the water with his fishing spear or disappearing into the jungle for long periods of time.

These jungle trips were met with judicious suspicion – everyone knew he had found the heroin somewhere in the jungle and many thought that he was secretly running off for a quick high, earning him more scowls than ever.

Claire found she didn’t care either way. He wasn’t around her and that was all she cared about right now. Occasionally she would see him on the beach and she would feel an inexplicable tug towards him, especially when he watched the ocean for hours looking as though all he wanted was to wade in and drown himself but then her brain would take over and she would steel herself and look away from him.

‘Hey Claire,’ William smiled brightly at her and Claire snapped out of her reverie. She had been thinking about the situation with her and Charlie again, a dangerous past time, and was glad that he had jolted her out of it.

‘Oh, hi William,’ she smiled indulgently at him when he handed her a full water bottle.

‘Here. I was up at the caves and I figured you might need a refill.’

‘You’re sweet,’ Claire said absently, frowning down the beach at where Charlie was sitting. A man was walking towards him very purposefully. ‘I did need a refill.’

‘Right,’ William hovered awkwardly for a moment. The man who had been walking towards Charlie now seemed to be having an argument with him only Charlie wasn’t moving or even responding it seemed. ‘Hey, Claire? Wh-what’re you looking at?’

Claire didn’t answer. The other man was waving something in Charlie’s face, Charlie turned away from him and went to stand up, the guy grabbed his arm. ‘Claire?’ William pressed again. Charlie pushed the guy away from him angrily, Claire felt her heart leap into her throat as the other guy drew back his arm and…

Charlie practically flew backwards and then stumbled and fell, crashing head first into the sand. Unaware that she had even moved, Claire found herself running towards the water leaving William standing there holding Aaron and looking highly confused, calling after her.

As she ran, Charlie began to stand up slowly but the other guy kicked sand into his face and then punched him again, kicked him in the guts so that he doubled over, picked him up off the ground and punched him again…

‘STOP!’ Claire screamed, as she got close. ‘You’re going to kill him!’

The guy continued to pound into Charlie as Claire tried to tackle him, neglecting to remember that this guy was nearly a foot taller and weighed probably sixty kilos more than she did. She felt like she’d slammed into a brick wall. She sprang to her feet again, feeling slightly dazed and stood between the two of them.

‘What the hell is your problem? Leave him alone!’ the guy went to push past her but Claire stood her ground. Charlie gasped and wheezed on the ground behind her, sand and blood forming an unpleasant crust on his face.

‘He stole my watch!’ the guy yelled belligerently, brandishing a shattered wristwatch in Claire’s face. ‘My dad’s watch! A bloody antique!’

‘And what makes you think he stole it?’ Claire stumped her hands on her hips.

‘I didn’t,’ Charlie managed to gasp. ‘Claire…This guys…had it in for me…since he found out…about the heroin…’

‘Charlie? Shut up,’ Claire said coldly and looked back up at the man who was still looking livid. ‘Why do you think he would steal your watch?’

‘Because I told him the truth,’ the man’s fists were clenching and un-clenching and Claire could tell he was itching to throttle her. ‘Didn’t like me telling him that he was no good. Nothing but a filthy addict and a liar to boot,’ he jerked his head towards Charlie who was still gasping and wheezing on the sand. ‘I knew one of them once see? They don’t give a damn about anybody but themselves. If one of them ever brought their drugs anywhere near my kids I’da punched his bloody lights out! Why’re you even defending him? He’s nothing but scum lady, doesn’t deserve you or you defending him.’

Claire stared at the man in front of her for a long moment and then glanced down at Charlie.

‘No one deserves to have the living crap belted out of them,’ she said quietly. ‘Even if they are a liar.’

Charlie gazed up at her, panting slightly. A trickle of blood was hardening and turning black underneath his nose and a plum coloured bruise was slowly blossoming around his left eye.

‘If you think he’s a liar then how can you believe that he didn’t steal my watch?’

Claire turned back to the man.

‘Because he didn’t.’

‘I thought you said he was a liar?’ the man sneered.

‘He didn’t steal your watch.’ Claire said firmly. ‘And when you find it I hope you’ll have the guts to come and apologise to him.’

The man eyed her cynically for a moment before lowering his eyes slightly and Claire knew that she’d won. She turned to walk away but his voice halted her. ‘I thought youse two were fighting anyways?’

Claire didn’t even turn back. ‘I never said we weren’t.’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reconciliation could be just around the corner for Charlie and Claire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Lost is not mine and no I didn’t create/write/direct/star in the series at any point in time *sigh*  
> Soundtrack: Belief by Gavin DeGraw

_Tonight you rest in my mind_  
_When you came to my defence_  
 _With a knife in the shape of your mouth_  
 _In the form of your body_  
 _With the wrath of a god_  
 _Oh you stood by me_  
 _Belief_

~*~

She knew he was there before he even said a word. It was late, so late that she would normally be asleep but she had known he would come back and so she had waited, not wanting him to have to wake her up.

That would after all require a close physical proximity, something she didn’t want right now; she was confused enough.

‘Hey,’

‘Hello Charlie,’ she said stiffly. It’s been so long since they’ve conversed that even greeting each other feels stilted to Claire. She hears him take a step forward and then he appears at the corner of her peripheral vision, arms crossed tightly over his stomach and even though Claire knows it’s a subconscious thing worked into instinct she still can’t help but smile a little knowing that he’s feeling as insecure as she is, although she isn’t displaying it quite so physically.

‘I wanted to come and thank you,’ when he finally speaks his voice is quiet. ‘For sticking up for me after…well you know.’

‘Well I couldn’t very well let him beat you to a pulp could I?’ Claire regarded her fingernails intently. ‘Not that I’d have let him do that to anyone but that’s beside the point.’

‘Right,’ Charlie hovered awkwardly for a moment and Claire wanted to shout _Sit down if you feel the need to you great daft idiot!_ Charlie seemed to read her mind however because he took a sudden step forward and, still keeping a prudent distance from Claire, crossed his legs, curling his hands around his ankles and staring out into the night with her.

They sat there for a good few minutes until she finally glanced over at him, trying not to wince at the sight of the bruises and abrasions on his face. The sand and blood had been cleaned away; this however was both a blessing and a curse as Claire could now quite plainly see the extent of the damage. An abundance of bruises had come to light in the final hours of daylight. Charlie had spent the afternoon with Sun (Jack had assigned her to looking after him because he had other more pressing matters to attend to) having cold compresses applied to his face to keep the swelling down.

They had worked to a point, but nothing could have kept all the swelling down with the amount of force behind the punches and the repetitive motion of being punched in the same places over and over. Claire suspected that if she hadn’t stepped in when she did, Charlie may have ended up with his nose broken.

‘What was his name?’

‘Sorry?’ Charlie said distractedly.

‘The guy who attacked you,’ Claire clarified. ‘What was his name?’

Charlie paused. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh,’ Claire said.

Another long silence ensued.

Claire began to fiddle with one of her rings.

‘I wanted to tell you,’ she glanced sharply at him and he looked back at her solemnly. ‘I just – I just didn’t know how to say it.’ Pause. ‘Sorry.’

Claire sighed heavily and Charlie began to babble.

‘I mean obviously it’s just a stupid situation all round because I didn’t even take any of it and I wasn’t planing on doing any of it anyway and I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you – but you know that anyway don’t you? And I promise I would never have put it anywhere near Aaron even if I was using it which I wasn’t and...’

‘Charlie?’

Charlie's voice stumbled into silence.

‘Calm down.’

Charlie took a great gulp of air and exhaled slowly. ‘Okay, I’m cool. I’m cool.’

‘Good,’ Claire rolled her eyes and, finding nothing else to say, fell silent, gazing out at the horizon which had just barely begun to lighten. Charlie watched her for a while but then he too looked out into the hazy morning.

‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked presently.

‘Sure,’ Claire didn’t take her eyes off the sky. ‘Anything.’

‘Well I just did but another thing,’ Charlie tried for a smile. Claire didn’t respond however and he hurried on. ‘How did you know I didn’t steal his watch?’

Claire barely even hesitated before answering. ‘Because you didn’t.’

Charlie looked as though he might be about to answer back but then he thought better of it and instead looked down at the ground.

‘Claire? Can – can I ask...?’

‘Charlie,’ Claire said exasperatedly and he looked up at her, slightly sheepish. ‘You don’t have to ask if you can ask questions or not. Just _ask_ them.’

Charlie looked directly at her. ‘Will you ever forgive me for all this?’

Claire went to answer but then stopped, mulling his words over again. _Will you ever forgive me?_ Not ‘forgive me?’ or ‘please forgive me?’ or even ‘will you forgive me?’

Will you _ever_ forgive me?

Charlie watched her closely as she bit her lip and managed a tentative smile.

Charlie returned it uncertainly as Claire nodded slightly.

‘I’ll think about it.’

 


End file.
